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Obligatory go vote post. Etc.

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You know what, it’s coming over all election-y, and so, I feel the need to do a mandatory please for the love of the Deity (Or non) Of Your Choice, get out and vote. Please. Not you, teabagger, you can gtfo my blog.

You, exhausted liberal lady. And you, fence hanging independent.

Please. I know. We don’t really have a liberal progressive lefty party. We have moderate conservatives and WHOA OMGWTFBBQ!!!11!!1!! far far far right holy babby cheezhoss tealibaners. I know it’s tempting to throw up your hands and say “fuck it, and fuck you. Fuck you democrats for not actually giving a shit about my interests. And FUCK YOU republicans, for being hypocritical authoritarian racist lady hatin’ liars who lie. And now, I’m moving to the Falklands because GAAAAAAAH!”

But don’t. It turns out that sea lions are total douchesicles. Really. Check out this smarmy bastard:

Mmm, I'd like you better if you weren't so...common.

So. Also, there is the fact that the libertarian/repub/conservative/teabagger movement is primarily comprised of  two (2) kinds of assholes. The first kind is the asshole who will throw a woman to the ground with his buddies and stomp on her head neck and shoulders whilst wearing a “Don’t Tread On Me” t-shirt, and then somehow handwavingly declare that said lady, by clearly labeling herself a liberal protester, was an OMGsleeprcellterriristicomuslinmixedfabricimmigrantthreat and also he has a bad back and HER HEAD GOT IN THE WAY OF HIS SHOE, DAMNIT! She should apologize, too.

The second kind is the asshole who privately applauds the first kind for putting that uppity bitch in her place, and then issues milquetoast apologies urging “both sides” to calm down. Because of all that far left communist Molotov cocktail throwing that’s been going on….oh wait. Yeah.

Disgust is a reasonable reaction to this shizz. But apathy just can’t be on the table with these asshats.

Also, enjoy some facts.

So, go vote to show that most of us aren’t racist, that most of us don’t appreciate the 2.5 million Muslims who also happen to be Americans being painted as terrorists, that most of us do know and believe that church and state have no business being in bed together, that most of understand that our taxes pay for the infrastructure upon which businesses and citizens rely, that most of us believe that everybody deserves healthcare, food, shelter and safety.

Please. Or just fuck off and go hang out with these douches

Douche1: I AM SO TIRED OF PAYING FOR ROADS! Douche2: I KNOW! I only wanna pay for roads that I use. I don't wanna pay for roads that poor people who refuse to pull themselves up by their flippers get to use! Douche1: YEAH! PRIVATIZE EVERYTHING!


About Pepper

Pepper Lee Hales is a twenty something, married, vicious feminist liberal. She likes dogs, cats, spiders, epistemics and cake.

3 responses »


    And that was the best post ever written about voting. For. Serious. (Why am I saying things like “for serious” these days? What is that? Where did that come from?)

    PS. Douchesicle. For serious.

  2. Pingback: Obligatory go vote post. Etc. (via Pepper and Paprika) « Women Are From Mars

  3. Ha! I feel the warm delightful glow of euro-approval, and IT FEELS GREAT 😀
    Yeah, I mean, I too get so pissed off with how our “left-wing” is so.damn.useless. However, sometimes being better than the other guys is enough. And fucking sea lions. Douchesicles.


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